Does It Ever Fizzle Out After A Great Pickup?
I’m Nick Savoy, and I run Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method Corp) and if you feel a solid “pickup” slipping away, keep these three rules handy.
SECRET #1: Bait, don’t chase
When a woman seems to be slipping away, most guys (at least most guys who don’t know Love Systems) will chase her harder. She didn’t answer the last text? Call her! Phone calls are short? Ask her out!
It’s logical, but counter-productive.
You want her to invest her time and emotional energy in you. But once you’ve asked her a couple of times, continuing to push the same offer on her will make her want it (and you) LESS.
It’s the same with any kind of investment. Let’s say your friend Joe wants you to invest in his new business. You keep dodging the question but Joe keeps asking or hinting at it. The more he does this, the more SURE you are that you don’t want to invest. And after a while, you stop answering Joe’s calls because you smell his agenda a mile away.
A BETTER WAY
What if Joe recognized that you didn’t want to invest. Instead of pressuring you, he backed off, talked about other things, and only casually once in a while referred to his business but without asking you for anything. It sounds like it’s doing well, and one day he invites you to drop by and visit.
Well, you can do that can’t you? And if you liked what you saw, what’s going to happen next? You’ll probably ask HIM if he’s interested in more investors. Just like a beautiful woman will often start hinting at date opportunities and places to meet up when you’ve got some emotional momentum going.
The first key is to LOWER THE INVESTMENT LEVEL YOU ARE ASKING OF HER. There are many ways to do this, depending on the situation, but here are some of the big ones:
# Texts instead of phone calls
# Light, fun conversation instead of serious topics
# Conversation for the sake of it alone instead of making plans
# Shorter rather than longer phone calls (and text messages)
In summary – take a step back, make sure she’s with you, and then start going forward and building momentum again… together.
SECRET #2: Be in the moment
Tell me if this story sounds familiar. You met a woman you’re interested in. She is all over you, insists you take her number, promises to make you dinner this weekend and implies that she might be the desert…
… but it’s not that same girl when (if?) you get her on the phone. She’s actually busy this weekend and doesn’t suggest another date.
Well, that’s not fair, is it?
Darn right it isn’t. Before I learned Love Systems and changed my life around, this used to get me so frustrated. Sometimes I’d even call the girl and ask what the heck happened. (There’s no point doing that either.)
To explain what’s going on and what to do, I’m going to take you on a little detour.
I love playing board games. It’s a very nerdy hobby – I’m not talking about games people know, like Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly. I’m talking about games no one has heard of – detailed games re-fighting ancient wars, and so on.
(Obviously, this isn’t something most women can relate to. But, it’s my hobby and I’m passionate about it. Since women are attracted by emotion, not logic (you should know this), the average swimsuit model will genuinely prefer to hear me passionately talk about board games and why I love them more than Mr. Generic boring her droning on about his cars and money. Like Love Systems expert Mr. M wrote recently that she feels what you feel. I’ll take passionate over bored any day.)
Anyway… there’s one game I used to play a lot called Diplomacy. It’s a game of negotiation, betrayal, and intrigue, with a bit of military strategy thrown in. I used to be fairly good, but not great. At tournaments, I’d often get to the “final table” (the top seven players, since it’s a seven-player game) and just as often be one of the first players eliminated.
Almost ten years ago, at the World Boardgaming Championships (yes, it does exist), I deliberately got a previous year’s champion drunk so he’d tell me my flaw. See, one of the lessons I learned in school from a Goldman Sachs guest lecturer was “Alcohol Works.” I stick with good advice wherever I find it.
My flaw? Not strategy. Not tactics. Not negotiation.
Optimistic self-delusion.
He told me he could pull the wool over my eyes by figuring out what it was that I wanted to believe, and then use that against me while he prepared to stab me in the back. If I was playing France and I really wanted to believe that my English ally wasn’t about to attack me, then I’d believe just about any explanation the English player would give me… Before he stuck the knife in.
“Play the board as it is, not how you want it to be.”
Board games are silly, but the lesson isn’t. It’s funny how many times I’ve repeated that exact phrase without anyone asking where or what this “board” was about. But the meaning is clear, and very applicable to Love Systems.
The woman you want was all over you last night? That was last turn. Board’s changed.
A woman is in your neighborhood and wants to come over tonight after being standoffish for weeks? Board’s changed. Tomorrow she might not want to. You’ll get nowhere by saying “but last night you wanted to,” at least no further than I’d get in a Diplomacy game saying “but last turn you didn’t have an army next to Paris.”
SECRET #3: Know Your Moves
The great thing about Love Systems being “bottom up” – we start by figuring out what works and only THEN put theories and structure on top of it – is that literally every part of attracting beautiful women can be made easier.
So, even with something as specific as how to get a girl who has drifted way back in the orbit, there’s a body of Love Systems knowledge. There are even a bunch of specific texts and things to say on the phone in the Phone and Text Game chapter of the Love Systems Routines Manual.
But I’ll give you a classic one, right now, with my compliments:
“I just met your twin.”
This works whether you haven’t talked in months or whether you just want to spark some energy. It doesn’t require major investment on her part. It implies that you are meeting other women and if some of them are similar to her and responding to you, maybe she should make her move now before you get away.
This is something impossible to say directly and difficult to convey… which makes this such a powerful text.
It’s a strange phenomenon, but women are more interested in you if they know that other women are interested in you too. We call this “Pre-selection” and it is one of the eight basic ways to attract beautiful women. This was first explained in my book, Magic Bullets (Magic Bullets Review), and then discussed in our Interview Series volumes Introduction to Attraction (Savoy and The Don), Identity (Tenmagnet, Sinn, and Future), and Female Psychology (Savoy and Soul).
Whether you already have a set of go-to moves that work all the time for you or whether you are using the phone and text game routines from Volume 2 of the Love Systems Routines Manual (Routines Manual Review), make sure you track your results!
The ideas and strategies that work – those are your moves. That’s how you’ll learn.
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net
Impact Makes Connection
Impact Makes Connection
Why is creating connection with a woman so important? And how can you achieve it?
I will be giving you a female perspective on this, and will show you the steps you need to understand in order for you to obtain a deep and significant connection with a woman.
I will also explain why you can benefit immensely if you manage to make a deep connection with her and how you can use this particular skill for years to come.
External/surface/superficial connection
This is the type of connection that guys should make if they are in a rush, and literally don’t have time to make a deeper connection with the woman, (i.e. day game when she is rushing a long a busy street) this is usually fairly easy to do.
Examples of surface connections:
* Enjoying the same type of films
* Coming from the same town
* Doing the same line of work
* Sharing any general interests or hobbies
* Sharing the same sense of humour
* Liking the same type of music
In a world consisting of billions of people. We can find a certain sense of comfort by finding even the most flimsy form of connection with a random person. Whether it’s the fact that they come from the same area/town that we are from. Whether we share the same Zodiac sign (sad but true) or if they happen to be in the same line of work as us.
Making surface connections with a woman are also a good way to create a “reason” (other than seducing her) to meet up again.
Man: “Yeah, he’s one of my favourite actors too, we should catch that new movie he’s in..” etc etc
This information is all very obvious and is common knowledge, so there is no need for me to elaborate the point any further of why obtaining surface connections can be very useful.
However, if you DO have time, you should try your best to make a deeper connection with her.
Making a deeper connection with a woman would create a number of changes in the her state of mind and would alter her opinion of you (positively of course), and as a result of these slight mind shifts forming on in her head, mood shifts will follow, and finally the energy and direction of the interaction between you both will improve dramatically.
* Making a deeper connection will get her to open up, and start explaining how she FEELS and REACTS about things. And this will give you a wonderful insight in to her mind (ever heard the expression that knowledge and information is power?)
* A deeper connection creates a “special” and “private” moment between you and her that no one else can touch or get in to.
* When a deeper connection is made, a moment is created, where she feels like you ‘know’ her (and she knows you) on a very personal level (psychologically)
And by doing this she temporarily places you in the same category as the people in her life that she has known for years. These are people who she can trust, who she respects and they are people who she can be comfortable and relaxed with.
# Understanding the formula of making deep connection helps men to reduce the chances of getting flaky numbers.
So why do men avoid making deep connection?
Men usually have much more of a “bravado” in comparison to woman, and they are much more conscious of what image they wish to display to others, and generally men will only lower that bravado and drop the “bull shit” with a very few select people. Some men cannot even bare the thought of crying in front of people; even the very idea makes them cringe.
Men view strength, confidence and success as the attractive qualities they must uphold in order to obtain respect from both men and woman, and so obviously crying or admitting that they have problems, fears, Insecurities etc would only serve to damage their image that they have spent years in perfecting.
Now DON’T PANIC! I know you are thinking that this is going to be the part where I try to change you, and tell you to drop the bravado and start showing your inner emotions, fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities and become one of these ‘new age metrosexual men’
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I can’t think of anything worse than going out with a “big girls blouse” This is a term I unfortunately find myself using more and more due to the fact that men are being told to act like “a wimp” in order to connect with woman.
Having a guy take me out on a date, and who wants to talk about emotions and feelings all evening and how he feels weak and/or unloved or a guy who wants to divulge every nitty gritty insecurity he has would completely turn me off, . Me and my friends often ring each other after an unsuccessful date, and it’s becoming increasingly more common for us to complain that the man made us feel too strong, too alpha too powerful for him to handle. Anyway, that’s a different story for another time.
The point I’m making here, is that I have no intention in giving you any advice that will make you come across needy, new age, metrosexual or effeminate. (There’s enough woman monthly magazines making a good job of that already)
Women do not share the guys obsessive need to KEEP UP SOME SORT OF BRAVADO. Granted that woman DO where bravado, but the difference is that they can feel a great sense of relief when it comes down. (Unlike men who feel temporarily exposed and vulnerable when their bravado comes down)
We are more open to talking about how we feel, our insecurities, fears and needs, but because men feel that divulging such information to a stranger is almost alien to them. They subsequently presume that women feel the same, and so they choose to avoid making deeper connections with the woman.
Us women however, do not consider that talking about our problems, feelings, insecurities and emotions as weak. We can really enjoy and embrace that moment when we can finally stop playing the role of “Miss Bitch” or “Miss Perfect” or “Miss Sex Kitten” or whatever role we have chosen to convey for that evening, week, month, life time. It really feels like a sense of release when we can be “our selves”,
Men would do well to understand this about woman, and rather than him seeing it through his own perspective, he should instead see it through her eyes..
Just because your mates don’t want to open up and share their feelings with one and other, and just because you might see it as an act which could tarnish your reputation or image, doesn’t mean that woman share this view point.
Do not presume that the girl with “The bitch bravado” is a cold heartless and evil person. Do not presume that the “shy girl mask” is boring and has nothing shocking or interesting to offer. Do not presume that the girl with “Bimbo” image is empty and insincere. Like you guys we put on a mask and create a bravado, alter ego what ever you want to call it for a number of different reasons. If you can get past that mask, you will not embarrass her or make feel uncomfortable like how most men would feel. Instead you will make her feel relaxed and the respect she has for you will increase dramatically. Far more than the guys who get caught up on just the surface level.
In the next part I will share with you the step-by-step process that I teach my students in order for them to obtain a deep and lasting connection with a woman, with out you having to alter the macho / alpha strong image that you might have worked on for so long perfecting.
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net
Why is creating connection with a woman so important? And how can you achieve it?
I will be giving you a female perspective on this, and will show you the steps you need to understand in order for you to obtain a deep and significant connection with a woman.
I will also explain why you can benefit immensely if you manage to make a deep connection with her and how you can use this particular skill for years to come.
External/surface/superficial connection
This is the type of connection that guys should make if they are in a rush, and literally don’t have time to make a deeper connection with the woman, (i.e. day game when she is rushing a long a busy street) this is usually fairly easy to do.
Examples of surface connections:
* Enjoying the same type of films
* Coming from the same town
* Doing the same line of work
* Sharing any general interests or hobbies
* Sharing the same sense of humour
* Liking the same type of music
In a world consisting of billions of people. We can find a certain sense of comfort by finding even the most flimsy form of connection with a random person. Whether it’s the fact that they come from the same area/town that we are from. Whether we share the same Zodiac sign (sad but true) or if they happen to be in the same line of work as us.
Making surface connections with a woman are also a good way to create a “reason” (other than seducing her) to meet up again.
Man: “Yeah, he’s one of my favourite actors too, we should catch that new movie he’s in..” etc etc
This information is all very obvious and is common knowledge, so there is no need for me to elaborate the point any further of why obtaining surface connections can be very useful.
However, if you DO have time, you should try your best to make a deeper connection with her.
Making a deeper connection with a woman would create a number of changes in the her state of mind and would alter her opinion of you (positively of course), and as a result of these slight mind shifts forming on in her head, mood shifts will follow, and finally the energy and direction of the interaction between you both will improve dramatically.
* Making a deeper connection will get her to open up, and start explaining how she FEELS and REACTS about things. And this will give you a wonderful insight in to her mind (ever heard the expression that knowledge and information is power?)
* A deeper connection creates a “special” and “private” moment between you and her that no one else can touch or get in to.
* When a deeper connection is made, a moment is created, where she feels like you ‘know’ her (and she knows you) on a very personal level (psychologically)
And by doing this she temporarily places you in the same category as the people in her life that she has known for years. These are people who she can trust, who she respects and they are people who she can be comfortable and relaxed with.
# Understanding the formula of making deep connection helps men to reduce the chances of getting flaky numbers.
So why do men avoid making deep connection?
Men usually have much more of a “bravado” in comparison to woman, and they are much more conscious of what image they wish to display to others, and generally men will only lower that bravado and drop the “bull shit” with a very few select people. Some men cannot even bare the thought of crying in front of people; even the very idea makes them cringe.
Men view strength, confidence and success as the attractive qualities they must uphold in order to obtain respect from both men and woman, and so obviously crying or admitting that they have problems, fears, Insecurities etc would only serve to damage their image that they have spent years in perfecting.
Now DON’T PANIC! I know you are thinking that this is going to be the part where I try to change you, and tell you to drop the bravado and start showing your inner emotions, fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities and become one of these ‘new age metrosexual men’
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I can’t think of anything worse than going out with a “big girls blouse” This is a term I unfortunately find myself using more and more due to the fact that men are being told to act like “a wimp” in order to connect with woman.
Having a guy take me out on a date, and who wants to talk about emotions and feelings all evening and how he feels weak and/or unloved or a guy who wants to divulge every nitty gritty insecurity he has would completely turn me off, . Me and my friends often ring each other after an unsuccessful date, and it’s becoming increasingly more common for us to complain that the man made us feel too strong, too alpha too powerful for him to handle. Anyway, that’s a different story for another time.
The point I’m making here, is that I have no intention in giving you any advice that will make you come across needy, new age, metrosexual or effeminate. (There’s enough woman monthly magazines making a good job of that already)
Women do not share the guys obsessive need to KEEP UP SOME SORT OF BRAVADO. Granted that woman DO where bravado, but the difference is that they can feel a great sense of relief when it comes down. (Unlike men who feel temporarily exposed and vulnerable when their bravado comes down)
We are more open to talking about how we feel, our insecurities, fears and needs, but because men feel that divulging such information to a stranger is almost alien to them. They subsequently presume that women feel the same, and so they choose to avoid making deeper connections with the woman.
Us women however, do not consider that talking about our problems, feelings, insecurities and emotions as weak. We can really enjoy and embrace that moment when we can finally stop playing the role of “Miss Bitch” or “Miss Perfect” or “Miss Sex Kitten” or whatever role we have chosen to convey for that evening, week, month, life time. It really feels like a sense of release when we can be “our selves”,
Men would do well to understand this about woman, and rather than him seeing it through his own perspective, he should instead see it through her eyes..
Just because your mates don’t want to open up and share their feelings with one and other, and just because you might see it as an act which could tarnish your reputation or image, doesn’t mean that woman share this view point.
Do not presume that the girl with “The bitch bravado” is a cold heartless and evil person. Do not presume that the “shy girl mask” is boring and has nothing shocking or interesting to offer. Do not presume that the girl with “Bimbo” image is empty and insincere. Like you guys we put on a mask and create a bravado, alter ego what ever you want to call it for a number of different reasons. If you can get past that mask, you will not embarrass her or make feel uncomfortable like how most men would feel. Instead you will make her feel relaxed and the respect she has for you will increase dramatically. Far more than the guys who get caught up on just the surface level.
In the next part I will share with you the step-by-step process that I teach my students in order for them to obtain a deep and lasting connection with a woman, with out you having to alter the macho / alpha strong image that you might have worked on for so long perfecting.
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net
Check Your Ego At The Door
Check Your Ego At The DoorLet’s talk a little about relationships today…
Anyone who has read me knows that there is something I say over and over again (because it is so important!): To be able to truly love yourself and to truly be able to love someone else, you must drop the ego. This is absolutely essential to finding an amazing relationship, but it’s equally critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re already in it.
Nothing will kill a relationship (even the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Here are 6 ways your ego can kill your relationship, and how to avoid having your ego ruin your relationship.
1.Resist The Temptation To Defend Yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve fought with a significant other, and whenever things get a little heated you start to defend yourself. All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself.
It also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.
2.To Love Yourself And Someone Else Completely You Must Separate The Ego: In order to truly love someone, you must separate your ego from yourself. This is also true if you want to be able to totally love yourself. Now, I know that in a perfect world, we would never be ego-driven. This is not a perfect world of course, so let’s get real. We are all ego-driven to some extent or another, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace that we need to separate the ego to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing relationship with someone.
3.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation: The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.
Let’s say your significant other is frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.
In order to really listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.
4.You Have To Be Willing To Drop The Ego And Learn To Have A Healthy Relationship: If you want to really be able to get deep with someone and take your relationship to a deep level, then you need to be able to take your ego out of the equation. You will always attract somebody who is just like yourself, because you really attract who you are as a person. Also, your significant other is going to do things that you don’t recognize. It may be voices, patterns, communication styles or other things with which you aren’t familiar.
You need to be open and able to learn these things about your significant other, and your ego will keep you from doing this every time. All of us need to learn things about our significant other every single day. We need to learn our significant other’s communication style, because many times your communication styles will be very different.
5.Dropping The Ego Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Who You Are: It can take a lot for you to drop the ego, really listen to your significant other and realize that they need you say something in a different way or understand how the way you communicate may make them feel a certain way. A lot of people misunderstand these kind of requests as being their significant other’s attempt to change them. It’s not.
They’re not trying to change you, they are trying to improve the way you communicate with each other. They are trying to get the two of you to be able to communicate better than you ever have in the past. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Embrace this!
6. Ego Causes Those “Low Blowers” Which Are The Biggest Relationship Killers: Do you get frustrated when you’re having an argument with a significant other? Of course, we all do. When that happens, though, sometimes the ego will cause you to hurl what I call “low blowers” at the other person.
You’re feeling hurt, so you lash out and say something you know will make the other person hurt too. It was not only hurtful, but inevitably something stupid. By listening to your significant other, instead of lashing out from your ego, you can get through an argument without these low blows and they will be much more constructive (and not destructive to your relationship).
So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create the most amazing relationship.
Read more from David Wygant at his website: http://www.davidwygant.com/
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
