Check Your Ego At The Door

Check Your Ego At The Door
Let’s talk a little about relationships today…

Anyone who has read me knows that there is something I say over and over again (because it is so important!): To be able to truly love yourself and to truly be able to love someone else, you must drop the ego. This is absolutely essential to finding an amazing relationship, but it’s equally critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re already in it.

Nothing will kill a relationship (even the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Here are 6 ways your ego can kill your relationship, and how to avoid having your ego ruin your relationship.

1.Resist The Temptation To Defend Yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve fought with a significant other, and whenever things get a little heated you start to defend yourself. All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself.

It also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.

2.To Love Yourself And Someone Else Completely You Must Separate The Ego: In order to truly love someone, you must separate your ego from yourself. This is also true if you want to be able to totally love yourself. Now, I know that in a perfect world, we would never be ego-driven. This is not a perfect world of course, so let’s get real. We are all ego-driven to some extent or another, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace that we need to separate the ego to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing relationship with someone.

3.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation: The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.

Let’s say your significant other is frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.

In order to really listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.

4.You Have To Be Willing To Drop The Ego And Learn To Have A Healthy Relationship: If you want to really be able to get deep with someone and take your relationship to a deep level, then you need to be able to take your ego out of the equation. You will always attract somebody who is just like yourself, because you really attract who you are as a person. Also, your significant other is going to do things that you don’t recognize. It may be voices, patterns, communication styles or other things with which you aren’t familiar.

You need to be open and able to learn these things about your significant other, and your ego will keep you from doing this every time. All of us need to learn things about our significant other every single day. We need to learn our significant other’s communication style, because many times your communication styles will be very different.

5.Dropping The Ego Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Who You Are: It can take a lot for you to drop the ego, really listen to your significant other and realize that they need you say something in a different way or understand how the way you communicate may make them feel a certain way. A lot of people misunderstand these kind of requests as being their significant other’s attempt to change them. It’s not.

They’re not trying to change you, they are trying to improve the way you communicate with each other. They are trying to get the two of you to be able to communicate better than you ever have in the past. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Embrace this!

6. Ego Causes Those “Low Blowers” Which Are The Biggest Relationship Killers: Do you get frustrated when you’re having an argument with a significant other? Of course, we all do. When that happens, though, sometimes the ego will cause you to hurl what I call “low blowers” at the other person.

You’re feeling hurt, so you lash out and say something you know will make the other person hurt too. It was not only hurtful, but inevitably something stupid. By listening to your significant other, instead of lashing out from your ego, you can get through an argument without these low blows and they will be much more constructive (and not destructive to your relationship).

So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create the most amazing relationship.

Read more from David Wygant at his website: http://www.davidwygant.com/


Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net

Tighten Up Your Text Game

Tighten Up Your Text Game

When text messaging keep in mind that, just like in face to face encounters with a woman, there are rules to know and follow.

Rule 1: Don’t text to avoid phone conversation.

Many guys, especially those just entering the social arts, see texting as a safer arena for contacting woman than calling them. This is understandable, but unacceptable. If you’ve just met and number closed a woman, then your next goal is to have a day two. The likelihood that you will set this up with her via text message is lower than if you call her and build more comfort verbally.

Also, if you’re texting because of your fear of interacting with this woman, then how will you ever hope to interact with her comfortably face to face?

Rule 2: Do not seek value when texting, bring it.

Examples of value seeking texts are “What’s up?” or “What are you doing tonight?” These texts come off as needy, invoke no emotion in the woman you are contacting, and don’t portray anything about your personality.

Here are some sample texts I’ve sent that have proven to be much more effective…

“I just saw a guy wearing a fanny pack and it reminded me of you.”

“Hey dork! :) I bet you are operating at a level of 100% dorkiness today.”

“What do you call a fish with no eyes?” Wait for her response before giving the answer, “Fssshhh.”

Rule 3: Avoid sending too many messages!

She might be the only thing on your mind at the moment but let’s keep that a secret between us, otherwise you may freak her out. Text once and only once until you get a reply, then you may text back. If she doesn’t respond to your text, you should generally hold off until tomorrow before contacting her again.

Also, give it some time after you receive a text before you respond. Remember being non-needy always equals sexy because it conveys that you must have other dating options in your life.

When in doubt, pace her. If she texts you back right away, you can text her back right away, but if she takes 10 minutes, then so should you.

Bonus Texting Tip: Use texts to invoke the law of familiarity.

After getting her number, immediately send a text while you’re still standing right next to her. This situation by itself is humorous and if you send a funny message it’s doubly so. Try messages like…

“You have my number now but you are only allowed to call me once per day.”

“Who is that really hot guy standing next to you?”

If, after texting her, she saves you number, take that as a definite indicator of interest. More importantly, when you call her later, your phone number will pop up and be familiar. This makes her much more likely to answer.

Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net

Approach Anxiety No More

Approach Anxiety No More!

Some of you email me and tell me how it’s so painful to go and talk to women (or to men). Do you want to know about real pain?

I basically relived the movie “Marathon Man” the other day. For those of you who don’t know this movie, go to YouTube and watch a clip so you can see what I experienced the other day at the dentist.

For all of you regular readers, you know I nicknamed my dentist “The Driller,” and nicknamed her assistant “The Cutter.” The other day I was fortunate enough to have an infection in some recent dental work that The Driller had done.

We didn’t know it until the Novocaine started to wear off and I felt every bit of the drilling. We thought that some more Novocaine would help, but all that did was to make my heart go thump thump a little faster. It didn’t make the nerve in my tooth calm down at all.

So approaching the opposite sex is not painful. You’re not going to jump out of your skin. You’re not going to hear a drill in your head. You’re not going to get bad taste in your mouth from Novocaine.

Recently I launched a great product about how to get rid of approach anxiety. What I should have done was to take my video guy to The Driller with me and had him film the 25 minutes of drilling I endured without being numb.

If I can survive that, then you can certainly walk up to the hottest person you see today, smile and say hello. What’s the worst thing that could happen? You’re not going to jump out of your skin. Really you’re not going to feel any pain at all except the fears you’ve associated with doing it.

My new product is a much easier way to overcome your fear approaching the opposite sex. If you’re not on my email list, you won’t be able to get this product. So if you want it, click here.

For those of you who really want to overcome your fear of approaching, go to your dentist when you have a really deep cavity you need to have filled — one that requires them to drill for a good 15 minutes — and videotape it as you have them drill without giving you any Novocaine. Then the next time you are tempted to complain about the pain you experience approaching the opposite sex, we can show you the video so you can see what real fear and pain is.
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net